if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Randomize
