i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
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