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• (503): View more from Oregon

  when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?

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• (972): View more from Texas

  I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.

  (1-972): View more from Texas

  I want to be a cop.

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• (815): View more from Illinois

  We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.

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• (608): View more from Wisconsin

  im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice

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• (660): View more from Missouri

  Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me

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• (517): View more from Michigan

  I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.

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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..

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• (505): View more from New Mexico

  So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.

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• (608): View more from Wisconsin

  Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.

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• (268): View more from Antigua/Barbuda-Carib

  I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.

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• (865): View more from Tennessee

  We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.

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• (210): View more from Texas

  Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who

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• (905): View more from Ontario

  But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.

  (1-905): View more from Ontario

  Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.

  (905): View more from Ontario

  But I want to be Keith.

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• (423): View more from Tennessee

  so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.

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• (256): View more from Alabama

  His nipple licking is glorious

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