Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
