Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
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