Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Randomize
