Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
this will be a night to untag.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Randomize
