you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
What a dumb baby whore.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
