All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
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