How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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