If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
