BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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