Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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