I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize