operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
