turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
