I don't usually arrange sex via text message
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Randomize
