i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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