You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Randomize
