Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
