just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
