I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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