I'm drive I can fine osifer
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
