Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Randomize
