You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Randomize
