Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Why are your pants in the freezer?
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
