Kareoke will never be a sober sport
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Randomize
