she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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