I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Randomize
