We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Randomize
