entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Congratulations! We have a period
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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