and you said cock pushups were impossible
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize
