Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
