Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
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