either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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