Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
