what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
