U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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