We're facebook friends in real life
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
