I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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