escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
