He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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