you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
