it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
The Olympian is in my bed
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
