Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
