you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
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