I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
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