...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
