Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
