Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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