sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
