Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
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