It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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