found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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