yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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